The Lion's Den
by Ovo
Summary: AU. Neil makes a less than pleasant trip back to New York.


_**The Lion's Den**_

He had been surprised, but it didn't last long. No one cared before… not unless he did something wrong. He supposed he wasn't doing anything wrong, since he hadn't seen one person… one living person, since he had left the encampment.

The salvage operation of the New York Barrier City was quite late in execution. Neil didn't know why he was included, and nobody else seemed to know or care. It bothered him, almost as much as the others' behavior.

The others, with the exception of his new commander, had to be the worst bunch he'd ever worked with. When they weren't ignoring him completely, they treated him like a child. And he couldn't help but shudder whenever he caught them looking at… well, looking in his direction. Usually, at him. No matter what he tried, he always found himself somewhere in someone's way. As long as Cpt. Jenkins wasn't around, he was fair game for whatever blames that needed to be laid. It was to his ill luck that, instead of the small group he was used to, this was a full company; and there was a lot of blame to be passed around.

When Jenkins left, for whatever reason, Franklin was in charge; so was the case when Neil stormed off that late afternoon in early December, shedding his cumbersome armor as he went.

The city wasn't something spectacular. A salvage crew wouldn't have even been bothered if it weren't for the abundance of convertible and raw materials and retrievable fuel cells… and bodies….

He figured there'd been enough time between then and now that he could deal with what happened. But when they landed on the airfield, oh what a wonderful surprise…. Fungi and bacteria seemed to have regained its footing in the word, and had begun to rot away all the dead left behind. The familiar left half-eaten away by natural decay….

After that sight, Neil swore he'd never ever touch another MRE.

He found his way home, but found little solace there. Only old possessions, most forgotten in the time he'd been gone; and memories that wouldn't die. But he didn't feel like going back to the airfield just then. Instead he wandered around the barracks a while, noting the doors he knew well… or remembering the occupants at least.

He passed one door in particular, but stopped three short steps after it. He felt as though the Phantoms were still alive and real, and swarming all around him. The simple danger that door had proven itself in the past had always been enough to keep him walking before; and the simple temptation caused by that danger was great, even though the danger wasn't there anymore. That realization stung.

He crept inside as quietly as he could, but left the door open. He didn't move, for fear of disturbing the perfect moment frozen in time… even the grimy dust coating the rest of the city failed to make it this far. For the dim hope that he'd been dreaming all this time, he expected Jane… he swallowed as he expected her to sneak upon him, and accost him for his trespass. He wished it. So when, without warning, more light filled the room than possible from the hallway source, he spent a moment's eternity in his small reality before turning to face the woman behind him.

"You get lost, Sergeant, or is there something I should know about?" his captain asked. A small and grizzled individual, she somehow maintained herself and her command with such mastery that let her keep in the general favor of her superiors.

"I was…" Neil tried to remember why he'd come in the first place, "I think I just needed…" Needed… what? _To go home…_

"So," Jenkins said, perceivably ignoring him, "I heard Tillman kicked y' around while I was gone."

"Yeah… no."

"Which?"

"Yes," Neil smiled numbly, "But I think I deserved it more this time." His captain was not so amused.

"I don't think you deserve it for whatever reason," she snapped, but leapt the subject as she sidestepped him and examined the room, "This wasn't yours, was it?"

"Huh?"

"You didn't live here, right?"

Neil blinked. "No."

"It doesn't look like you, no," Jenkins determined, stopping to the small writing table across the room, "Not your handwriting either, thank heavens; I didn't think you were that narcissistic"

"What?" the sergeant could only stare in complete confusion at the envelope she proudly presented.

"Look, Neil," she handed him the find, "Everyone lost something in that… ordeal; some of us a lot more than others," she paused, as though seeing something behind him. He had to resist the urge to look over his shoulder at whatever it was, "I know it hurts, kid, but leave the grief to us old folks, okay?"

"I'm going to go hit Franklin before he decides to scape' someone else," Neil barely noticed her, as the name on the envelope caught his attention, "Come back whenever you feel like it." After she had left, he found a wall to lean against and began to read the… his letter; or Jane's letter, addressed to him.

There were three pages of heavy script. They contained revelation, explanation, advice, and apology, thinly masked under a grim humor that pointed to other prior, outdated letters, addressed to him and to others, and other such interesting obsessions that would have been completely out of his knowledge had… well, had _she _lived to be there.

As he read it, he talked back to the letter, as stupid as he felt doing so. But he was alone here, and it did make him feel better.

He woke up some time later, still curled against the wall. The light was out, and the door was closed, and he found it difficult to remember how they came to be that way. His groggy mind fell back to his dreams; strange and terrifying, and at the same time more appealing than reality could ever be. He froze as he heard movement in the darkness beside him, and felt a warm hand close around his own. The shock of it sent him awake, for real, and the artificial illumination invaded his perceptions yet again.

Neil couldn't help feeling helpless, as well as guilty, and guilt that wasn't guilt; and a painful, tingly sensation that signified his leg had fallen asleep.

He shifted his position to allow a better circulation as he reread the letter. He knew what it meant, and he didn't want to accept most of it; but accepting feeling for the living was probably better than falling in love with the dead. Such a pity he seemed to be doing both at the same time.

**---**

Aki sighed in aggravation as her daughter snapped both aware with a whine. It was hard enough keeping the girl on a regular sleeping schedule. The doctor stood and whirled. Instead of causing tranquility or cheer to the toddler she held, the child only clung to her mother and whimpered more.

Aki balanced the girl to her side with one arm as she fumbled with the apartment door, ready to mutilate whoever it was that would dare to wake her already restless baby. When she recognized him, anger turned to concern, and then to anger-tinted concern. Neil flinched, and tried to draw attention away from himself.

"Nova!" the girl squealed in fear and tried to lean farther away, and the man pouted, "Aww, C'mon, Nov', is that the way to treat the guy who changes your diapers on demand?" He kept a careful watch on Aki.

"I think," the scientist answered for her child, "You were forgotten the moment potty training came into the picture." Nova watched the stranger carefully over her mother's shoulder as the woman turned back inside, and he followed.

The big shock came when her mother handed her over to the man, who did feel familiar in a peculiar way; even though he looked like those scary people living outside and she didn't remember anyone like that. So enthralled, she didn't notice when her parent left the room.

Neil sat down on the sofa, pulling the blanket he found there around the girl. He smiled as she pulled it further about her, and babbled a few incoherent syllables at him. He leaned back and readjusted her weight. She dozed against him contentedly, and he closed his eyes.

Aki returned, and sat beside him. She sipped at her drink, while staring into the space ahead.

"You missed December," she said quietly, "I was worried when they said you disappeared."

"I'm sorry, I…" he paused for a minute, caught in the amusing thought that he should probably have been tagged, 'if found, return to Dr. Ross.'

"I walked back; so it took a while."

Aki tried to estimate the distance from there to New York, but settled for 'quite far,' instead of worrying about it, "Can you do that?"

"What do you mean, can I? I'm here, right?"

"Aren't you going to get in trouble?

"Maybe,"

Aki finished her tea, hoping the caffeine would help her senses a little. It was early for them, even if it wasn't so for Neil. She placed the cup to one side, and slid her hands under Nova to move the toddler. She stopped at Neil's protest.

"Does she have t' go?"

"No," Aki reasoned, "But if she has a nightmare, she'll prob-"

"Don' worry; I won't hold," Neil yawned, "y' responsible 'or 'nythin'." He felt Aki move beside him, and her warm hand close around his own.

He considered the path of things, as he felt the doctor lean against him. Even if Nova wasn't his daughter, he owed it to Edwards to keep her safe. From Dr. Sid's ideas, he could even rationalize that genetics no longer mattered.

And Aki; he cared about her; and she did show care for him. Even if she wasn't, well… his first choice. He knew he wasn't hers, either.

Maybe it wasn't the family he'd been hoping for all that time ago, but it was his family.

_**The End**_

* * *

**Working Title**: The Lion's Den 

**Inspiration**: Apparently I had planned it. Also the pairing challenge I may have mentioned before.

**Noteworthy**: Nova's first appearance.

**Disambiguation**: Although it _can_ stand alone, it makes a bit more sense as with the other stories. Without, it merely makes the assumption that the Deep Eyes died per normal, excepting Neil.

**Series**: The Difference; _The Lion's Den_; Truth at Heart

_Derivative work of material © Square Pictures, Squaresoft. Reformatted to abide by 'site standards. None of the original text has been modified, 'cept in case of typo. _


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